Wednesday, 20 October 2010

Lets Not Dwell In The Past.

Some people have an amazingly long memory they manage to remember something that you did to them more than 40 years ago, at least that is how it seems. I was in a shop in the village where I had lived and went to school as a child. In the shop was a lady who said she thought she might recognise me. On enquiring about her and telling her who I was she decided that she did not in fact know me. It was with some apprehension that I asked her if she was looking for the person she thought I was. “Oh no, not at all,” she said, “He was the boy who pulled my hair one day and made me cry. If you had been him I was going to tell you how sore that was.”

I was indeed aware of how sore it had been. It had been so painful she had carried it with her like a burden for over 40 years. That really was something to carry for so long.

L left the shop wondering if I had been that lad what she might have said or done to me. I was also very aware that it is a simple thing to do, to hold on to the past. To allow the things that happened to you to haunt you down the years and effect the present day decisions we make.

When I was young my mother had a real love for, “Salad Cream”. This was a brand name for a form of salad dressing. Every time she produced it at the table my father made a comment along the lines of, “Ah we are having furniture polish are we?”

I suppose he did not like it and so he made fun of it. The downside of his comedy was that I took a dislike of dressings of all kinds. I have never till this day managed to overcome this dislike. I insist on all my food being served natural and without dressings. I have tried to overcome this but with very little if any success.

I have though learned many a lesson from coming to terms with this. I strive never to dwell in the past though as we move forward in age it seems more and more difficult not to do just that.

Here are one or two thoughts I have to share with you about that.

1. It is very easy to become a hostage to the past and so never see anything of value in the present.

2. The past is a foreign country and they do things differently there.

3. There is nothing surer than the fact that the job will not get done by going backwards.

4. Whatever life has in store for you it is not in the past.

I often say to my friends if you are not living on the edge you are taking up somebody else’s space. Yesterday I thought of another that I have been mulling over. I may have heard it somewhere before but I do not think so.

I am going to strive today not to live in the PAST lane.

When I put on blogger today I was given a message that it was to be down for repair and upgrade. I wonder if that was why it looks as though nobody read my blog yesterday. And I wonder should I try to post this one today. For that reason I have left it so short.

This blog is linked to my other. Coming Home To Roost


  1. Hello Ralph, I do believe in all your points about not living in the past. I love the foreign country point. Hope you are well. I've been a poor Blogging friend but have been so time poor. Sending you good wishes. xx

  2. Good Morning Ralph, they will never shut us all the way down, and today will be better than yesterday! The voodoo doctor says I don't have cancer, so I can get off that horse! Great post today, and nice thoughts at the end.

  3. I like number two.... the foreign country. What a wonderful expression.
    I was married to someone who carried every grudge, every day of his life. Wonder if he is still 'grudging along' or if he is living! And a sibling who is always saying 'I remember'. I have difficulty with that, I don't carry these loads with me...they were momentary events and they were 'then'.

    If we constantly look can we see the possibilities ahead? With a darkened sky?
    I'd rather not!

  4. I am an Honiured person that I have such wonderful friends who daily take the time to read my thoughts. I love you all

  5. I like the living on the edge bit - so you don't take up others space - nice quote - thank You Ralph

  6. Ralph

    I love both of your blogs ... they are part of my day. I don't always comment, take that as a the thought I agree with you. If I didn't live in the present, I'd be in a straightjacket by now. The universe never presents you with anything you can't handle. I hold onto that. Living in the past ... that's like living in the future, for when this comes true, that happens ... a waste of precious time for sure. Thank you. With age comes wisdon ... how did you get so wise and are so young ... in spirit?

  7. Great post--! I really enjoyed it. :)

  8. I dont dwell in my past, but I do introspect on my past as to how it has shaped up the present me :-)