Friday, 3 September 2010

People Do Some of the Silliest Things.

I popped down to my plot yesterday to collect some fresh produce. While there I saw something I had never seen before, even now the thought of it makes me laugh inwardly. We have no taps for water, so any water we use to water plants has to be collected rainwater or water gathered from a small natural spring. This second way means walking to the spring and filling your watering can and then carrying it back to your plot. At the most it is possible to carry two such containers.

Yesterday I watched somebody fill a wheelbarrow with water and try to wheel it back to his plot. By the time he got there most of the water was watering the paths. If I had my camera with me I might have taken a picture of that and used it in a painting. I suppose nobody told him that was not a good idea. I hope he remembers.

One person who will remember the folly of his ways was a lad I met in prison. For those who are new to this blog, I used to be a prison chaplain. This lad had determined to rob one of Edinburgh’s finest stores. His plan was to wear his best suit and mingle with the customers until he was close to the main cash office. he would then don a mask hold up the teller and make a quick getaway. He got all dressed and ready for the occasion, new shirt and tie and shoes, wearing his best suit. All went well until he was making his fast get away. Forgetting his new shoes he slipped on the tiled floor and was caught by the security men. This error cost him more than spilled water. He did five years in one of Her Majesties finest establishments.

That was a true story; I met the lad and got to know him fairly well. He is now married and has a lovely daughter and holds down a steady job.

On telling the story of the man with the water to a friend I was told of another tale of mans stupidity. The man had been consulting a doctor to help him quit smoking. The doctor asked him how he was doing. He informed the doctor he was doing well, he had not smoked any cigarettes since seeing him. He was though having problems with the patches. Asked if he was using one a day he said yes. When he took his shirt off the doctor could see what he meant his body was covered with about thirty patches. He had not read the instruction about removing and replacing.

I am not at all sure of the authenticity of that one, but it did make me smile.

I can verify this one though, because this is another man I met in prison. He had gone into a bank to rob it. While in the bank he also stole the video camera. He was sure this was a wise move. The recorder was stored elsewhere, this he did not remove. The man never saw the video of him stealing the camera, but the police did.

Now these are all stories about men and there stupidity. Before I leave I hope with a smile on your face let me tell you of the lady who took the baby to the doctor for its first check up. The bay was fine, if a little light in weight. The doctor asked if the baby was bottle or breast fed. She told him it was breast fed. He told her to strip to the waist and he examined her breasts. After pressing and squeezing he said, “I can see why the baby is a bit light in weight. You have no milk.” The lady looked at him and replied, “I would think not , I am his grandmother.”

Yes I had a day full of laughs yesterday and I thought I would share some of them with you today. I hope today brings you a day full of laughs. I am not sure what I am to be about today, I need a rest day from running so I might just pop back down to my plot, you never know what I might see.

Have a good day.

This blog is linked to my other. Alpha Omega


  1. Yes, Ralph, your post made me smile. I like that the first not-so-good thief did better in life later. That is my thought..that everyone is redeemable. I bet you think so too!

  2. Yes Celeste I do believe that everybody is redeemable it is just that some take more work than others.

  3. I could see myself behind that wheelbarrow.

  4. Good Morning Ralph! Even in Africa they would dig a well, if a spring is nearby it woudn't be deep!

  5. Yes, Ralph this gave me a smile, and maybe even a laugh too. ! You always do ...