Thursday, 23 September 2010

How Many Does It Take.

I stood in the shop waiting and waiting. There were four members of staff present and the delivery man was there also, so five of them and one of me. I waited while all four were gathering items to complete the order the delivery man was waiting to deliver. Heads down intense on the task to hand.

I studied the clock on the wall as the second hand repeated its journey for the now sixth time. This must be a really important person they are serving I thought. The need for urgency was so obvious.

At last one of them turned her attention to me. “What can I do for you?” I thought for a moment and said, “Serving me would be nice.” “I see,” she said, “What can I get you?”

Well I had an answer but decided just to tell her what it was I wanted. She went to get the required items. Actually it looked like maybe she was having a real bad day. Her face looked so sad and downcast. At last all the required items were gathered and I paid the bill.

Surprise, surprise she could smile. She beamed as she handed me the receipt. “Can I ask you to look at the back of the receipt? We are asking customers to go online and complete a customer service survey. You could wind £200.”

I looked at her straight in the face and gave her a gentle smile. “I would just love to complete your survey.” Yesterday I did just that can you guess what I said in it? I will leave you to think about that.

Reminded me of the survey about artists and light bulbs.

How many artists does it take to change a light bulb?

Ten. One to change it, and nine to reassure him about how good it looks.

How many modern artists does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to throw bulbs against the wall, one to pile hundreds of them in a heap and spray-paint it orange, one to glue light bulbs to a cocker spaniel, and one to put a bulb in the socket and fill the room with light while all the critics and buyers are watching the fellow smashing the bulbs against the wall, the fellow with the spray-gun, and the cocker spaniel.

How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the giraffe and the other to fill the bathtub with brightly coloured machine tools.

How many visitors to an art gallery does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to do it and one to say "Huh! My four-year old could've done that!"

How many members of staff does it take to serve a customer? Five if the customer cannot take time to come to the shop.

How many muscles does it take to create a smile? Every muscle in your head. I hope they are all working right now.

I am indeed looking forward to today I hope you are also.  And yes the above story about the shop and the survey is a very true story, I can give you the link to the customer survey.

This blog is linked to my other.  I Have Added More Darks


  1. Excellent Ralph, yes, every muscle in my face is working.
    Have a wonderful day; thanks for the morning smile.

  2. Thanks for the facial workout!

    Your drawing is coming along nicely.

  3. Ha ha I like that Susan a facial workout. I will remember that one.

  4. Good Morning Ralph, yes today will be great indeed. I will weld and get dirty today! So, how many store clerks does it take to change a lightbulb? none, I suppose, they don't want to do it! I think this problem is everywhere these days. Few are passionate about anything anymore.

  5. Very funny Ralph, I had my smile for the day. And that first one is so close to the truth... ! What would we do if we didn't have other artists telling us .. It's good, it's really good!!! LOL !

  6. Hi from British Columbia Ralph. Interesting that I read this today. My eyes are green, expressive and hide nothing....oh, and I've been told I should never play poker. Hmmmm. I also believe in marketing......we sell ourselves and what we do every day, so I strive to play the game when I need to and use the "eye work" when needed. I was shopping for groceries after work today and I ALMOST said the the cashier "are you having a bad day"? So obvious, she did NOT want to be there. Tomorrow, I will.