Monday, 1 November 2010
Positive Thoughts, Well Not Always.
Somebody said to me yesterday, “There you go again nothing but positive words of encouragement. Do you never feel like just telling somebody to get lost?”
It was a strange experience; I was walking along the shore front a large broad promenade that stretched for about two miles. I ended up caught in the midst of a large group of runners getting ready for the gun to set them off on a 10k race. Had I known it was taking place I might well have been one of them. As they sped off past me I was left walking beside an old couple. The wife was walking; the man was riding a shining new three wheeled bicycle. I joked, asking him if he could give me a lift on the back of it. The wife started to speak to me as he cycled ahead. She told me he had loved cycling but because of his hips no longer could. he just had to spend money on this bike. I said to her that I thought it was wonderful that she had gone along with the idea and did not mind. He really did seem to be enjoying being able to be with her. It turns out they had used to walk together along this way. As we left she thanked me for letting her see it all in a new light.
My friend repeated his words, asking me if I ever just told somebody what I really thought. I said yes and because of it I have learned to look for the good.
I saw a person once who I had to tell I really did not like the sight of. Everything about them was negative. He looked permanently unkempt. He did not look after his health. When he was sick I did not care. He did not eat a proper diet, he drank too much alcohol and he smoked far too much tobacco. When he did well at work I never praised him, I constantly told him he could do better. I told him he needed to get his act together and give himself a good shake.
“I cannot believe you were so nasty, that was a terrible way to treat a person.”
I agreed I was a horrible person. I was cruel towards him. And I could see the effect of my words on him. He was depressed most of the time, tried to drown his sorrows by drinking too much and calling in sick when ever he could.
Well he said he just could not believe me being like that.
I assured him I had been and told him that one day it had all changed. He asked me what had happened.
I stood there in front of the bathroom mirror one morning. I saw the dark circles under his eyes, I saw the excess weight. I saw the hair that needed cutting. And I saw the eyes that once had looked at the world eagerly. Now they were so sad and tired. And there and then I realized he deserved better. I knew the time had come to start finding good things about myself. So I told the man whom I had disliked so many years that he was a good person after all. I decided to like every likeable thing about myself and tell it to myself too.
Once I learned to like myself even though I was this bad it was simple to see the good in other people.
We all know the, “Golden Rule.” Every leader of a world religion has expressed it in one way or another.
You cannot learn to love others until you first truly learn to love yourself. The important word there is TRULLY. More of that another day.
This is the way of the Tao.
This blog is linked to my other. Self Portrait