Wednesday, 16 June 2010

Being Your Own person

Such good comments from people yesterday, it seems that we all agree that we should accept people as we find them. It is as I said yesterday, the way to meet some wonderful people. It is good that there are so many people always willing to offer a helping hand or some advice. But beware.

An old lady friend of mine tells the story of the day she was returning from the library. She saw three young school boys in their uniforms and with there school bags. They were each stretching to reach the bell of the front door of the house. One had a stick and was trying to use this. She thought, “Mothers, what are they coming to, do they not realise their son is at the door?” She goes across and rings the bell. The three young boys promptly say, “Run lady she will be out in a minute and she is always angry.” Off they sped jumping the garden fence as they went.

There is a story of the Master. One day he is teaching his students and he found himself on the receiving end of a fierce outburst of abuse from a bystander, who was for some reason very angry.

The master listened patiently while the stranger vented his rage, and then he said to the students and to the stranger, "If someone gives a gift to another person, who then chooses to decline it, tell me, who would then own the gift? The giver or the person who refuses to accept the gift?"

"The giver," said one student after a little thought. "Any fool can see that," added the angry stranger.

"Then it follows, does it not," said the master, "Whenever a person tries to abuse us, or to unload their anger on us, we can each choose to decline or to accept the abuse; whether to make it ours or not. By our personal response to the abuse from another, we can choose who owns and keeps the bad feelings."

Or to put it in much simpler language we do not need to accept the invitation to be miserable.

Thanks once again for the great feedback I hope today you only meet people who invite you to feel joy. So glad to hear Jerry say that he is getting through his difficult period an invitation to joy indeed.

This blog is linked to my other. Be Still


  1. Food for thought for me, Ralph. Thank you for that this a.m.

  2. It's really funny how your stories always seem to coincide with my own thought processes. I have been realizing lately, that if I don't want to feel agitated about something, I don't have to. If I don't want to engage in an argument, I don't have to. I can just smile and say, "Okay," which takes all the fuel out of the fire. It's actually worked a few times here at home. Keep your stories coming, they seem to be very timely for me!

  3. Good Morning Ralph, I am alive and today will be a great day! What a wonderful post today! I will re-read it several times. I do that often with your blog when I don't want to miss a single nuance. You have an ability to pack a lot into a few sentences and much like a painting, I study your words to see what I might have missed the first time. We only have what we keep in our heart, that is so true!

  4. My husband tells me- "You don't have to accept unacceptable behavior." Same sentiment- I never tire of hearing it. Thanks Ralph!

  5. Very true Ralph. But also very difficult.