Tuesday, 15 June 2010

Accept people As They Are

Yesterday I was down at my garden plot, a spot of weeding and watering of my plants. I always find such moments a time to consider and think. Here I was working in the soil about three miles from where I had been born and brought up. I had not come very far in life when you consider it. I used to walk past these very plots with my father as a young boy, and watch as the owners then worked the soil. The very soil I was now working.

In reality I had moved a long way. I had changed profession three times and in the process changed the lives of many people. In the process I have been fortunate to meet some wonderful people, and as I looked over at Archie in his plot I saw I still was. I have been very fortunate because I have been allowed into the lives of people in a very intimate way. I wondered why?

As I stopped for a coffee and one of my favourite chocolate biscuits I realised why, as I remembered two very true and in there own way funny stories.

The first was of the young girl who obviously came from a very poor family. She and some friends used to come into my classroom first thing every morning. Life’s bullied and unwanted. This girl every day brought me a biscuit for my first coffee. One day I said to her, “You should not do this; your mother cannot afford to give me biscuits every day.” She replied, “Ah, its ok my mum works in the factory, she brings that one out for you each day in her knickers.”

The other very true story was the one where a girl who worked in the same factory was being interviewed on the radio. She had worked in the factory for fifteen years doing the same job. She explained her job to the rather snooty interviewer. Her job was to take biscuits off the line and pack them in boxes. When asked if she liked her job she told the interviewer that she had a laugh and had many friends in the factory. The interviewer could not believe her. “Do you never get bored?” she asked. “No,” said the interviewee, “they change the biscuits from time to time.

I have been blessed because I have always been able to accept people on their terms and unlike the interviewer impose my way of life and values onto others. What I value may not be the same as others and what makes me happy may be a bore to others.

May today bring you happiness in what ever you do.

This is the way of the Tao.

This blog is linked to my other. Dave


  1. You know how appreciated you are when somebody gives you biscuits from their knickers. Two very funny, classic stories Ralph! xx

  2. I wholeheartedly agree with the point to your story, Ralph. And I wonder what that girl's mom would think were she to know her daughter blabbed about her coming out in her "knickers." LOLOL

  3. Wonderful message- to accept people on their own terms. Thank you!

  4. Hi Ralph, I started out looking at Dave's portrait and then popped over here for a read - and so glad I did. Not only are you a talented artist but a talented writer with something to say. Thank you for nourishing my soul today.

  5. A thought to be remembered.

  6. Thank goodness I was a misfit in my youth for I have many 'misfit' friends from all walks of life....and I have many treasures in my heart from each one. Each one has walked a different road and each perspective is different with a lesson to be learned from all.

    Every one should be valued as 'they come'; whether prettily packaged or not.
    It's actually the perfect person, with the perfect life that is quite tedious and contributes so little; other than their impression of 'pefect' and 'acceptable'.

  7. Hi Ralph, it is a good afternoon my time. Only two chemos to go so I am pretty happy! Lots of us have worked on a buscuit line! I worked at a local cannery for seven seasons as I was working my way through college. It is so easy to think simple work for simple minds but that is not often the case, and there are kind, generous and compassionate people in every walk of life.

  8. Thanks for your wonderful stories. I find myself coming to read your blog when I'm stressed, overwhelmed or needing a "wake up" moment. You have a great gift and I think that the people that you have touched are indeed very lucky.