What You’re Really Saying

 I am going off today in my caravan. I have been walking the coastal path where I live. To complete the whole walk we are taking a few days living at the far end and walking some of it from there. The total walk is some 90 miles. It will be nice to be in another place and the possibility of meeting other people.

I am, my wife tells me an avid people watcher. In truth I love the experience of new people. Some people make it very difficult to get to know them though. They roll out the carpet of unwelcome. Others, it seems just do not know how to take a compliment.

Yesterday I popped down to my plot. Before leaving I had been given a gift of two cabbages and a turnip. Feeling good I headed home thinking I would share my joy. I was heading to the newsagent when I bumped into somebody I had not seen in ages. I commented on how well she looked. “What do you mean?” she said. “Are you saying I do not look good every other day? You said I look good today. That must mean I do not look good every day.” I decided not to offer her the extra cabbage. Some people have a wonderful art of changing a compliment into an insult.

Strangers beware!

I remember once visiting a new church while on holiday. My son and I attended the early morning service. Not one member of that congregation spoke to us at that service. The following Sunday we returned. This time I put on my ministerial collar. We were overwhelmed by people wanting to welcome us. I said nothing about the pervious week, but when invited to preach the following Sunday. I preached on the carpet of unwelcome. I told them maybe they need to have a welcome mat. That congregation did just that. They had a rota of people who were there looking for strangers. I am sure many visitors enjoyed their visit to that church that summer.

It is all about attitude really. Some people look for rejection. Let me end with a great little story.

A young trainee salesman had become discouraged because he had been rejected by so many of the customers he approached. He asked a more experienced salesman for some advice.



“Why is it that every time I make a call on someone I get rejected?”



“I just don’t understand that,” answered the older salesman. “I’ve been hit on the head, called dirty names, and thrown out the door, but I’ve never been rejected.”



Rejection isn’t what happens to us but how we interpret what happens to us.



Oh the cabbage! I said good morning to a stranger after purchasing my newspaper. He responded by commenting on the weather and stopped to pass the time of day. I hope he enjoyed the cabbage.



I hope to be able to post my blog but if not it is because of circumstances not that I have rejected anybody.



Have a wonderful weekend.

This blog is linked to my other.  The Coastal Path

Where is my Chocolate Cake?

Somebody said to me the yesterday,”Ralph there is no need to say thank you.” Of course there is a need to say thank you. I can tell you now I appreciate when somebody makes a nice comment or shows they appreciate something I have done. Knowing how I feel I want to make sure others know how much I appreciate them. What does it cost to say thank you, and even more important what does it cost to accept thanks?

There is a true story of the old lady who lived alone. Her next door neighbour baked regularly for her fellowship coffee mornings. One day she decided to make a chocolate cake extra for her neighbour. When the neighbour opened her door, she was surprised to see her holding the chocolate cake. She said, "For me? Oh, thank you so much! You just don't know how much I appreciate it! You are so thoughtful for doing this! Thank you!"

Because the old lady had liked the cake so much, she decided the next week to bake her another one. When she took it over, the old lady opened the door and said, "Thank you so much. You are so kind!"



She took another cake over the following week. The old lady responded simply with, "Thanks."



The next week she took another cake over, and the old lady said, "You are a day late with that cake."



The following week, she baked her another cake. This time her neighbour said, "Try using a little more sugar and don't bake it quite as long. The top has been a little bit hard lately.”



The next week she was so busy, she was unable to cook for her neighbour. When she passed by her house on the way to the store, the old lady looked through the window and noticed she wasn't carrying a cake. She then stuck her head out the window and yelled, "Where's my cake?!"



It's so easy to get used to our blessings. After enjoying them for a while, we begin to think we deserve them. Then instead of being thankful, we complain. It's a process that occurs so slowly, we don't even realize it's happening.

I could sit here all morning relating similar true stories.

The real sadness is that it is a very short stop from taking things for granted to complaining about what we have or receive.

I remember one day out running with a friend. As we ran along the canal bank he stopped, bent down and picked something up. I watched as he unfolded it. It was a five pound note. I commented, “Your lucky day.” he looked at me and said, “If it had been you it would have been a ten pound note.”

Complainers so easily look at the negative side of all things. They do not give thanks, and they complain about what they have because it is never enough.

My goodness I am on my hobby horse these last two days. Forgive me and thanks again to all of you who day in and day out read this blog and take time to comment or get in touch.

I leave you with a little thought, and a question. The question first! Are you a you a thanker or a complainer?

And the little thought!

Complaining is like bad breath, you notice it when it comes out of somebody else’s mouth but not your own.

Have a thankful day. This is the way of the Tao.

I can hear you asking what is it with the picture today well follow the link and I will explain.


This blog is linked to my other. Trainers

It Wisnae Me

It Wisnae Me


Translation (It was not me)

I had a marvellous day yesterday with my daughter. It was just one of those days when everything just went right. I hate timetables, but my daughter likes to be organised so I had taken the time to find out bus times. I wandered down to the village, bought a paper and arrived at the bust stop just as the bus before the one I was heading for arrived. The bus driver saw me heading to the stop and kindly waited and I was off.

I arrived in Edinburgh to a beautiful sunny day. From there on, the day just got better and better. Over lunch we talked about how we could sort out the world problems. Amazingly simple! Teach people to stop blaming everybody else and take responsibility for the error of their ways.

I do not know what it is like where you are, but here there are so many stories of people looking to blame somebody, and nobody ever wants to take the blame. Of course sometimes an accident is just that, an accident, and there is no blame. Maybe we also need to learn that lesson also.

Here in Scotland we have this lovely phrase, “It Wisnae Me.”

I reminded my daughter that we learn that syndrome very early in life.

The day, I heard crying, and went up to my son’s room. My daughter was there also. Ross my son was in tears. Before I could say anything she said, “It wisnae me.” I asked why he was crying and was informed he had hit his head off a bat that was lying on the floor. “Where was the bat at the time?” I asked. “In my hand.” said my daughter.

There is a true story of a young girl who the week before her final exams at university went to a Buddhist monastery to ask the monks if they would say some chants each day to help her pass her examinations. The monk she spoke to did not believe that was how it worked but he did agree to do so thinking it might boost her confidence.

They never saw the girl again, but they did hear rumours that she was telling everybody that the monks were failures. She had failed her exams because their chants were no use. She forgot to mention she had spent all the academic year partying.

I heard a saying some years ago. It is a bit rough but it sure hits the right spot.

The Itch.

A man had an itch on his ass

He scratched his head

The itch never went away.

I apologise if that is too coarse but it does bring me back to where I started. We need to stop blaming everybody else before first looking and asking about our own part in the things that annoy us.

Lets start with who is holding the bat.



Have a great day.


This blog is linked to my other.  Secret Places

A Day Well Spent

 Today I will be spending the day with the love of my life, my pride and joy, my daughter. We are to attend the Gallery of Modern Art where they are showing an exhibition called Another World. It includes some great works from Dali and the other surrealists. Then we head back to the book festival to listen to one of our favourite crime authors, Mark Billingham.

So it looks like today will be a day when I will be full of pride and together we will have a good time, and once again she will lead me off the straight and narrow. In other words I may have an ale, let me say that again I may have two ales.

We are very alike, my daughter and I, we both love to let our hair down and we both love to debate and discuss.

She has always been an independent person, once her mind was made up it was hard to make her shift. If she decided that wellington boots and a summer dress was what she was wearing it was best just to go along with her. At a very early age she insisted on going to the shops herself, with her trollybag and purse. This involved me phoning various friends along the route to look out and make sure she was safe.

When she got older, and left home to go to university, I told her I would rather not know what was happening. She laughed and said. “Dad I will share the edited version with you.”

The truth was I never really worried about her. Unlike the mother who got the following letter from her son when he was away from home at scout camp.

Dear Mum



We are having a great time here in the highlands. Mr Ross, the scout leader, is making us all write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and worried. We are OK. Only 1 of our tents and 2 sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily, none of us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for Barry when it happened.



Oh yes, please call Barry’s mother and tell her he is OK. He can't write because of the plaster on his arm. I got to ride in one of the search & rescue jeeps. It was neat. We never would have found him in the dark if it hadn't been for the lightning. Mr Ross got mad at Barry for going on a hike alone without telling anyone. Barry said he did tell him, but it was during the fire so he probably didn't hear him.



Did you know that if you put gas on a fire, the gas can will blow up? The wet wood still didn't burn, but one of our tents did. Also some of our clothes. John is going to look weird until his hair grows back.



We will be home on Saturday if Mr Ross gets the minibus fixed. It wasn't his fault about the wreck. The brakes worked OK when we left. Mr Ross said that a minibus as old as ours you have to expect something to break down; that's probably why he can't get insurance on it. We think it's a neat van. He doesn't care if we get it dirty; and if it's hot, sometimes he lets us ride on the tailgate. It gets pretty hot with 10 people inside. He let us take turns riding in the trailer until the police stopped and talked to us.



Mr Ross is a neat guy. Don't worry. He is a good driver. In fact, he is teaching Terry how to drive. But he only lets him drive on the mountain roads where there isn't any traffic. All we ever see up there are forestry trucks.



This morning all of the guys were diving off the rocks and swimming out in the lake. Mr Ross wouldn't let me because I can't swim and Barry was afraid he would sink because of his cast, so he let us take the canoe across the lake. It was great. You can still see some of the trees under the water from the flood. Mr Ross isn't strict and moany like some scoutmasters. He didn't even get mad about the life jackets.



He has to spend a lot of time working on the car so we are trying not to cause him any trouble. Guess what? We have all passed our first aid merit badges. When Dave dove in the lake and cut his arm, we got to see how a tourniquet works.



Also Wade and I threw up. Mr Ross said it probably was just a touch of food poisoning from the leftover chicken. He said they got sick that way with the food they ate in prison. I'm so glad he got out and became our scoutmaster. He said he sure figured out how to get things done better while he was doing his time.



I have to go now. We are going into town to mail our letters and buy bullets. Don't worry about anything. We are fine.



Love, David.



I hope you all have a great day Like I will surely have. Yes I know I am suffering the pride of a father.

Forgive me I will not be reading any blogs today. Ha ha.

This blog is linked to my other. Autumnal Abstract

Age Is catching Me Up

I have a father in law who is ninety-two years young. He has just had new replacement windows and doors put into his house, so it seems he intends to be around for a bit yet. Strange, because when you visit him all he has to tell you is that he is unable to do anything. He cannot see when he takes off his spectacles, he is dizzy when he gets out of his seat, and it takes him ages to get dressed in the morning.


When I was a parish minister I used to visit an old man in my parish. Every morning he used to do press ups, one for every day of his life. He used to wonder why as the years went on it got harder. I asked him if maybe it had to do with the increasing number of press ups.

Two worthy characters indeed. They say we get wiser with age, I don’t believe it, we just get more foolish. We forget to account of the simple reality that we are getting older.

Reminds me of the two old men in the nursing home. Old John said to his pal George, “I am 85 and I feel I am falling apart. How are you feeling George?” George responded,” Even though I am nearly 100 I feel like a new born babe.” “How can you possible feel like that?” said John. “Well,” said George, “I have no teeth, I am nearly bald, I cannot sleep through the whole night and I am back in nappies (Diapers).”

I am telling you this, because yesterday I went running and I did the same run as I did the day before and I arrived home exhausted. I complained to my wife. She reminded me I had not only run the day before but walked also. She also pointed out that I had not tried to run the distance in the time I had that morning. I looked at the clock and went to the shower feeling amazing.

Somebody once said to me that life was all about, “attitude, attitude young man!”

An old lady living in the same nursing home as John and George complained to the nurse. "My arms are so weak I can hardly lift a cup of coffee. My cataracts are so bad I can't even see my toothbrush. I can't turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck. My blood pressure medicine makes me dizzy. But thank God, I can still drive!"

I keep telling the younger people I pass when out running. Just let me rephrase that, I keep telling the young people who pass me when I am out running. That I only have one problem in life, “Youth Deficiency.”

It is amazing though how I speed up when one of those who pass me is of the fairer sex.

I am so glad that we can still laugh in the face of adversity. I am about to go and try that run again, I know it is foolish, I should have a rest day. I tell you what. Why don’t I just go and try it, you go get a nice cup of warm coffee and laugh at me.

Remember we do not stop laughing because we get old. We get old because we stop laughing.

Have a laugh on me today. But whatever have a great day.

This blog is linked to my other.Self