I Am Angry With You But Never Mind.

I sure do not want to make him any angrier with me so he will remain nameless. He had come up to the village and left his wallet at home. He wanted to write me an IOU for the price of a pint of milk and a dram and half pint of ale.


I refused point blank to accept his IOU, instead I offered to purchase the pint of milk and then go with him while he had his whisky and his half pint of ale. I would then drive him home. We had spent a good time at our vegetable plots and the time together relaxing would be worth every penny. He reluctantly agreed. It was while I was driving him home his pride got the better of him and he said, “I am angry you would not accept my IOU.”

I told to stop fassing ( a good Scottish word) because as sure as sure there would come a day very soon when I would do the same. Age is catching up with me I told him I forget things all the time.

Friendship is the most wonderful thing we have and it has to be cherished. I have decided I will probably forget my wallet next week some time.

I will do this because of some of the things life has taught me over the years. Let me share just one or two of them with you.

I've Learned.

I’ve learned-

that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.

I’ve learned-

that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.

I’ve learned-

that no matter how good a friend is, they’re going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I’ve learned-

that it’s not what you have in your life but who you have in your life that counts.

I’ve learned-

that you should never ruin an apology with an excuse.

I’ve learned-

that it’s taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

I’ve learned-

that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

I’ve learned-

that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I’ve learned-

that money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I’ve learned-

that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.

This is the way of Tao.

That is by far not an exhaustive list but I do not want to send you away weary.

I have also learned that you can meet the nicest people in the world of blogging and miss them when you do not hear from them.

This blog is linked to my other. The Litter Bin

Bowing and Respect

I was brought up from a very early age to believe that all people were equal and of value, and that therefore all people deserved respect. I learned this on my regular Sunday walks with my father, the highlight of my week. Being the kind of person I am, I took this to heart, and on more than one occasion it landed me in trouble. I remember my first day at school. The class were All told to stand to be introduced to our teacher, and we were told that when she entered the room first thing in the morning and afternoon we were to bow and say, “Good morning/afternoon Miss and then her name.” I had no objections at all to saying good morning but I had real problems with the bowing. If we were all equal why am I bowing to her I wondered? The teacher in her wisdom made no comment, but the head teacher on noticing my head upright took me aside and we had a “discussion.”


Later in life while taking part in the “crowning of the gala queen” event somebody noticed I did not bow to the gala queen and raised the issue in the local press. I have been introduced to real royalty on two occasions and on neither did I bow, but was aware that they did not take issue with its absence.

Age has made me do a rethink of many things and the more I see the diminution of respect the more  I now believe that the lesson of bowing, and what it signified is maybe a lesson we should not forget. Even if we set aside the physical action. It is said that respect has to be earned, that may be true. But if respect is offered then this could be the impetus to greater things from the one respect is shown to. At the end of all bouts in martial arts the combatants bow to one another as a mark of a shared respect. In Buddhist communities the master bows to his students to say to them, “I am merely the messenger of the teachings.” The students bow acknowledging his wisdom. From this shared respect grows even more worthy lessons.

I frequently take time out from the bustle of painting to pay my respect to the masters who have gone before. When visiting a gallery, if I come before a work that moves my inner being I stop, and though not physically, internally bow before the master. It says quietly and without fuss, “I respect you.”

No matter how great we may feel our art has become it is wise always to remember that there are those greater than ourselves. We are all equal and worthy of respect but there are those who have earned just that little bit more to which maybe a bow is appropriate. They have earned such respect.

I bow without show because this is the way of Tao.