Chasing Happiness

Isle of Iona

I found myself involved in a very heavy conversation two days ago, and I am still mulling over the parts of that conversation today. The conversation took place between two people I know well, a stranger, from Ireland, and myself.

It started like most conversations, light hearted and of little consequence but quickly it turned to the more serious matters of life.  We broke all the rules, never discuss politics or religion with people you do not know.

The topics covered included both but I suppose what caught my thought the most was the question I am so often asked, where can you find happiness. The Irishman asked me that question after an interesting question about faith and belief.

I now realise I gave very much my standard answer to the question and he seemed happy with the answer. The trouble is, it nagged at me for ages later, and is still there nagging away.

Most people who know me tell me they see me as one who is content and happy. The truth is that I have been far from happy for over a month and more. What people have been getting is not what is in the tin.

So I have been looking again at what I think happiness is and where it is to be found. Here are my most up to date musings.

Happiness is Tolerance. If you become a member of the perfectionist club, be ready to live a life of disappointment often offended and lonely.

Happiness is not the absence of pain. There is no such thing as a pain free life. In fact emotional pain is a useful life tool that alerts you to a mismatch between values and your environment.

Happiness is an association. If you want to be happy associate with happy people.

Happiness is not in fact a pursuit.   Forget about chasing happiness and you will indeed become happy.

Happiness is a state of mind. Regardless of your goals in life or where you are going, you can choose to travel your life’s journey happy or unhappy.

Others can invite you to feel miserable you do not need to accept the invitation.

This blog is linked to my other.  Isle of Iona

Sadness and Joy.

Along The Firebreak

I find it strange that more and more I recall the things my father said to me as I walked with him. Strange in the sense that I remember it so clearly now and yet I might not have remembered those words a few months ago or even during the majority of my youth. Somebody said it was an age thing, but I sure do not want to believe that. I think it may just be that I have been running a route I have not travelled in years, but walked regularly with my father.

This morning there was a light rain, the kind that makes the hedges and bushes smell fresh. The sounds of birds as they get back to a life of some normality as young fledglings begin to really leave the nest and venture forth. My father frequently said to me, ”Stop chattering and just listen and let nature give you some answers.”

As I write this I had a moment of clarity, I have said similar things to so many people down the years and never ever asked why.

This all reminds me of the story of the old man taking his daily walk.     

With bent shoulders he set out each day to walk his few miles. On the days when it rained he carried his furled umbrella, seldom if ever bothering to unfurl it, preferring to feel the rain on his balding head.

He came to a place in the road where there were a number of rocky stairs which he climbed with determination and care. At the top of the steps there was a carved pot with a cut bamboo pole to direct clear spring water into the pot. Here he would pause and enjoy the sweet taste of the spring.

Then he would pause for a moment, bending his ear, like an attentive student. He would listen, with joy on his face to the confluence of sounds; the pitter-patter of the rain on the leaves, the gurgle of the flowing water. There in the sounds was a sense, a precise mix of melancholy and joy that make life exquisite to live. “There is sadness and beauty in all around. When you can fully understand that and hear nature sign to you, you will no longer be a boy but a man my friend.”

It is this we artists try to capture.

This blog is linked to my other. Along The Firebreak

                                                                       

Chasing Meaningless Goals

Homeward Bound.

While out running and walking I so often feel at one with nature. Unlike my son and daughter I never take an mp3 player with me while running, not only because I like to be aware of the traffic and other possible dangers, I prefer to hear the sounds of birds and animals, and the moments of silence.

Recently my clash with nature has not always been a looked forward to experience. About half a mile from where I live, just before I leave the village behind and head out to the countryside, I have been having a frightening two or three hundred yards. Sitting on the rooftops there are two seagulls, almost as if sitting in wait. As I run past they give me a number of lowing flying attacks. Sometimes they Passover my head within inches of me, screaming as they do so. I mean them no harm, not that they know it, but it just all seems like a terrible waste of energy on their part.

I was considering this meaningless gesture when I saw a dog  feverishly chasing its tail, round and round. This reminded me of the dog that lived in one of the previous places I lived. It sat at the end of the drive into the house where its owner stayed. Every time a car or vehicle passed it chased it as fast as it could for a good hundred yards up the road.  I remember saying to the owner, “Do you think your dog will ever get fit enough to catch one of those cars? “

He smiled and replied, “That is not what bothers me. What really bothers me is what he would do if he ever did catch one.”

I smile when I remember that little dog running and barking in its endless and meaningless pursuit.

But these are not the only meaningless actions that can be seen day in and day out. We all at some time have pursued meaningless goals, and wasted precious time getting nowhere and doing nothing much.

The great sage once said, “To live a meaningful life, choose meaningful goals.! “

Now I hear the many people who on a regular basis ask me the question, “Why on earth do you get up at 6am and go running?’

Have a great day.

This blog is linked to my other. Homeward Bound.

You Can Sometimes Try To Hard.

A Scottish Landscape

We Scots have a long history blighted by what we call our Presbyterian streak.  It is the wonderful ability of being able to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory and always putting ourselves down. We are never good enough. As a nation we feel unable to stand on our own two feet and for some reason feel sure that without the help of the rest of the UK we would flounder. This is  spite of our long and wonderful history of invention and making strides forward possible for humanity possible in so many ways.

On the level of personal human beings we have a tendency to act the same way. I can remember the many times when I was proud of some achievement for it to be pointed out to me that I could have done even better.  As a parent I once or twice found myself almost falling into the same trap with my children, fortunately not so often that it has effected them.

I am very aware of these traits in my own makeup. I never felt that I was  a great preacher, and was always aware of the few pews in the church that were empty rather than the 900 that were filled. I never felt I was as good a teacher as I might have been in spite of the exam results of my students saying otherwise. I have never painted a picture that I am happy with in spite of so many sales.

There is a wonderful tale Lao Tzu and some of his followers. One they travelling together along a road through what used to be a large forest. The woodcutters had cut down all the trees except for one large tree which they were all sitting under having lunch.

Lao Tzu asked his disciples to go and enquire if this last tree was also to be cut down, and if not why not. When they asked the cutters they were told that it would not be because it was totally useless. They were told it was no use for furniture because it branches were not straight enough. It was no use for firewood because it contained to many knots and twists and so would cause more smoke than heat.  That is why it has been left standing.

When the disciples returned and reported back to Lao Tzu he smiled and said, “Be like this tree. If you are useful you will be cut down and become somebody’s furniture. If you are beautiful you will be sold as a commodity.  But if like this tree your are useless you can be what you are and look at all those who are enjoying sitting under its shade.”

It is better to be as good as you can be rather than have to be continually telling yourself how useless you are.

This blog is linked to my other where I discuss the artwork used here. A Scottish Landscape

Posititve Thinking The Name of The Game

Poppies in France

I watched an interesting programme on the television about people who have serious arthritis, a debilitating illness.  Years of running up and down mountains has meant that I am one of those very unlucky people who suffer daily the pain that comes with. I cannot complain of course, I chose to run up mountains and incur broken bones and such. No matter how much advice I was given I continued and still do.

This programme was about an experiment that had been carried out. Two groups of people had be selected both very similar in structure and severity of illness. One group continued with medication alone, while the other group was given a gym membership and a schedule of exercise. The exercise was not strenuous but regular. After a six month period the initial testing was carried out again. It was no surprise for me to learn that those who had been on the exercise regime were now using less medication and suffering less pain than those who had just carried on with medication and pain relief.

I tell you this because yesterday in the course of the day I met three people who commented on my stupid practice of running every day, their words not mine. Each of them went on to tell me that because of the pain they had they could not do it.

I read a story of two oncologists, talking about a similar test. One complained bitterly, "You know, Bob, I just don't understand it. We used the same drugs, the same dosage, the same schedule and the same entry criteria. Yet I got a 22 percent response rate and you got a 74 percent. That's unheard of for metastatic cancer. How do you do it?"

His colleague replied, "We're both using Etoposide, Platinum, Oncovin and Hydroxyurea. You call yours EPOH.

 I tell my patients I'm giving them, Hydroxyurea, Oncovin Platinum and Hydroxyurea and I call it “HOPE.”

 As dismal as the statistics are, I emphasize that we have a chance."

I rejoice in the many friends I have met here in blogging who have such an attitude and persevere creating marvelous work, some under much pain.

It is all a matter of attitude and of course HOPE. I am off to take two painkillers and run my morning eight miles run. Have a great day.

This blog is linked to my other.Poppies in France