People Do Some of the Silliest Things.

I popped down to my plot yesterday to collect some fresh produce. While there I saw something I had never seen before, even now the thought of it makes me laugh inwardly. We have no taps for water, so any water we use to water plants has to be collected rainwater or water gathered from a small natural spring. This second way means walking to the spring and filling your watering can and then carrying it back to your plot. At the most it is possible to carry two such containers.

Yesterday I watched somebody fill a wheelbarrow with water and try to wheel it back to his plot. By the time he got there most of the water was watering the paths. If I had my camera with me I might have taken a picture of that and used it in a painting. I suppose nobody told him that was not a good idea. I hope he remembers.

One person who will remember the folly of his ways was a lad I met in prison. For those who are new to this blog, I used to be a prison chaplain. This lad had determined to rob one of Edinburgh’s finest stores. His plan was to wear his best suit and mingle with the customers until he was close to the main cash office. he would then don a mask hold up the teller and make a quick getaway. He got all dressed and ready for the occasion, new shirt and tie and shoes, wearing his best suit. All went well until he was making his fast get away. Forgetting his new shoes he slipped on the tiled floor and was caught by the security men. This error cost him more than spilled water. He did five years in one of Her Majesties finest establishments.

That was a true story; I met the lad and got to know him fairly well. He is now married and has a lovely daughter and holds down a steady job.

On telling the story of the man with the water to a friend I was told of another tale of mans stupidity. The man had been consulting a doctor to help him quit smoking. The doctor asked him how he was doing. He informed the doctor he was doing well, he had not smoked any cigarettes since seeing him. He was though having problems with the patches. Asked if he was using one a day he said yes. When he took his shirt off the doctor could see what he meant his body was covered with about thirty patches. He had not read the instruction about removing and replacing.

I am not at all sure of the authenticity of that one, but it did make me smile.

I can verify this one though, because this is another man I met in prison. He had gone into a bank to rob it. While in the bank he also stole the video camera. He was sure this was a wise move. The recorder was stored elsewhere, this he did not remove. The man never saw the video of him stealing the camera, but the police did.

Now these are all stories about men and there stupidity. Before I leave I hope with a smile on your face let me tell you of the lady who took the baby to the doctor for its first check up. The bay was fine, if a little light in weight. The doctor asked if the baby was bottle or breast fed. She told him it was breast fed. He told her to strip to the waist and he examined her breasts. After pressing and squeezing he said, “I can see why the baby is a bit light in weight. You have no milk.” The lady looked at him and replied, “I would think not , I am his grandmother.”

Yes I had a day full of laughs yesterday and I thought I would share some of them with you today. I hope today brings you a day full of laughs. I am not sure what I am to be about today, I need a rest day from running so I might just pop back down to my plot, you never know what I might see.

Have a good day.

This blog is linked to my other. Alpha Omega

Remeber Grown Up Words

As I sit here this morning I feel the need to crawl back into bed and go to sleep. I had a party last night it was very drunken and very noisy and it went on till about 3.45 am. Now before you say well it is your own fault you are tired, let me explain.


I was not at the party, the party was in my street. I suspect some neighbours had gone away for the weekend leaving their son at home. So what does he do? He decides to have a party and invite his friends. His friends in turn invite others. So at 3.45am there were some 30 or 40 of them running about in the street making loads of screaming noises, and I will draw a veil over some of the other things that were happening.

I was going to do something to have the noise stopped, instead I remembered that at their age I would have probably been doing the very same. Just because they look like adults and wish to be treated like adults does not make them adults. Had I suspected they were in any real danger I may well have done something. Instead I lay in bed counting, not sheep but the parties I had attended.

Yesterday seemed to be party day in my street. Earlier in the day my next door neighbour had a party in her back garden. Her son was celebrating his second birthday. They had great fun.

I was reminded of the tale of the teacher trying to make children adults too soon.

A group of children had started nursery school and were trying very hard to do all that was expected of them.

The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on NO baby talk! You need to use 'Big People' words,' she was always reminding them.

She asked John what he had done over the weekend.

"I went to visit my Nana," he replied.

"No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Remember we must always use 'Big People' words!"



She then asked Mary what she had done

"I took a ride on a choo-choo".

She said. "No, you took a ride on a TRAIN. You must remember to use 'Big People' words".

She then asked little Alex what he had done.

"I read a book" he replied.

That's WONDERFUL!' the teacher said. "What book did you read?"

Alex thought real hard about it, then puffed out his chest with great pride, and said,

"Winnie the SHIT"

Well you see if you ask children to be adults they might be just that.

Forgive the use of that word but I always laugh when I think of that book. When my daughter was very young, I had a CB radio in my car. In those days people had a handle, a code name. Being a minister of religion mine was of course, Sky Pilot. My daughter Lindsey loved the Pooh books so her handle was, Linnie the Pooh. My son in his innocence one day asked why Lindsey was always asking to go for a pooh.

Have a good Sunday

This blog is linked to my other Butterfly