Oh To Be Perfect.

Have you ever heard of the, you could have done better syndrome?  I heard of it from a very early age in life. My mother was one of those people who, no matter how well a thing was done it was never quiet good enough. She was also one who was never slow to let you know. I remember a school test. I had worked really hard to prepare for it, more than I could remember having prepared for any other test in school. On the day of the test I felt well prepared as I sat down to look at the test paper. I completed all the questions well within the set time and handed in the completed paper.

The next day the teacher handed them back out, marked and scored. I had done very well having only got two questions not completely correct. It turned out that I was second top from a class of 32. I went home proudly holding my test paper to show my parents. My mother looked at it and noted I had been second in the class. “What happened that you did not manage to come first?” This is my first remembrance of the, “you could do better syndrome.”  Did it make me better? The answer to that question is simply this. I am not at all sure. What it did do though was to set in motion, “The I can do better driver.” This driver I have carried through my whole life.

So it was some surprise that I read the blog of Bonnie Heather this morning to discover my face staring from it and some very complimentary words. I find such praise very difficult and yet when artists who produce work such as she and others make comment on my work I feel very humbled and inspired.

This reminds me of the story of the man who had never married. One day his best friend asked him why he had never met somebody and settled down. He told his friend that he had wanted very much to do just that. He had looked and looked for the perfect girl. “You never found her?” asked his friend. “Yes I did,” he replied. He went on to tell his friend how he had met the perfect girl. She was perfectly beautiful and perfectly talented loving and caring. She would have made the perfect wife. “So why did you not marry her?” asked his friend. “Because she was looking for the perfect man.”

I think it is a bit late for me to learn the lesson I should have learned years ago but I have learned this. I never ever tell somebody that what they have achieved and are proud of is not the best. I strive to always encourage and inspire.

Thank you to all of you, who like Bonnie Heather, inspire me to keep on striving to reach that goal of being an artist. 

This blog is linked to my other.  The Summer Knows

Learning to Fly

Yesterday I visited the art gallery where they were showing an exhibition of impressionist garden paintings. It was overwhelming. So many of the masters in one place, almost too much for the mind to comprehend in one moment.


I was so engrossed in three of Monet’s Water Lilly paintings that I forgot I was alone. I said to the lady standing next to me, “I find these paintings just flood my mind with feelings.” Then I remembered where I was and was about to apologise. She turned and said to me, “Thank you for saying that I was just bursting to say that to somebody but was so aware of being alone.”

We spoke together about one or two others and then we went our separate ways. As she was about to leave I thanked her for her comments. She said I had made her day and I think we both left feeling touched by the art and the joy of sharing.

It is amazing how easy it is to be uplifted by another and in turn uplift. I have a moving story to share with you.

There was a little boy who lived in an orphanage. He was one of the youngest and often felt alone. He used to sit at the window and watch the birds. How he longed to be able to fly. He spoke of it often. “Why cant I fly like the birds?”

Next to the orphanage was a park where he was allowed to go and play. He was so often alone playing in the sandpit. One day there was another lad about his age sitting in the sand. They talked to each other and made castles and magical places. They laughed and joked for what seemed like ages.

Time came when it was time to leave. The father of the other lad went behind the park bench and wheeled over a wheelchair. The lad who wanted to fly had not been aware of his new friends disability.

He went over to the father and spoke to him. He returned to the lad and said, “I cannot help you to walk or run but I can do something. The father lifted his son onto the orphans back and laughed as they ran round the park.

Tears rolled down his cheeks as he laughed at the words of his son. Sitting on his new friends back he waved his arms and shouted loudly. “Look Daddy. I can fly, I can fly.”


I noticed that somebody left my followers yesterday apologies if I am offending or being too heavy.

This blog is linked to my other where I discuss the art.  Thoughts of Spring

The Lady on the Bus

A very short but nevertheless an honest post today. As you know I have been doing a lot of reflecting these past days.


It is amazing how we affect the lives of others, often without ever knowing it. When I left school at the age of 15 I started work as a butcher and slaughter man. I might have still been that had I not come into contact with some people I have talked about here.

For a time I travelled home from this work on the bus. I can remember that day as clearly as if it was yesterday. I was sitting upstairs in the front seat. I had just been given a book on arithmetic, from whom I cannot remember or from where. A lady sat down beside me and passed the time of day. She asked about the book and why I had it. I remember thinking about it before answering.

I told her I had left school with no certificates or examination passes and I thought I might try and at least pass one. She said to me that if I could pass one then I would be able to pass four. She then went on to tell me that if I could do that I would be able to get entrance to college. Then for no apparent reason she said to me. “You are far too bright to be doing the job you are doing. There is a great world out there and all you need is four exam passes to start exploring it. Go on you know you can do it.”

I did, but that as you know is a long story.

I never got to thank that lady, or to let her know what a change her words had made on my thinking.

Daily we meet people and daily we have the opportunity to affect the lives of others. It is amazing what a word of encouragement can do and how destructive can be the power of a negative word.

I hope each day I can be like the lady on the bus.

 This blog is linked to my other.  Grandad