You Can Sometimes Try To Hard.

A Scottish Landscape

We Scots have a long history blighted by what we call our Presbyterian streak.  It is the wonderful ability of being able to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory and always putting ourselves down. We are never good enough. As a nation we feel unable to stand on our own two feet and for some reason feel sure that without the help of the rest of the UK we would flounder. This is  spite of our long and wonderful history of invention and making strides forward possible for humanity possible in so many ways.

On the level of personal human beings we have a tendency to act the same way. I can remember the many times when I was proud of some achievement for it to be pointed out to me that I could have done even better.  As a parent I once or twice found myself almost falling into the same trap with my children, fortunately not so often that it has effected them.

I am very aware of these traits in my own makeup. I never felt that I was  a great preacher, and was always aware of the few pews in the church that were empty rather than the 900 that were filled. I never felt I was as good a teacher as I might have been in spite of the exam results of my students saying otherwise. I have never painted a picture that I am happy with in spite of so many sales.

There is a wonderful tale Lao Tzu and some of his followers. One they travelling together along a road through what used to be a large forest. The woodcutters had cut down all the trees except for one large tree which they were all sitting under having lunch.

Lao Tzu asked his disciples to go and enquire if this last tree was also to be cut down, and if not why not. When they asked the cutters they were told that it would not be because it was totally useless. They were told it was no use for furniture because it branches were not straight enough. It was no use for firewood because it contained to many knots and twists and so would cause more smoke than heat.  That is why it has been left standing.

When the disciples returned and reported back to Lao Tzu he smiled and said, “Be like this tree. If you are useful you will be cut down and become somebody’s furniture. If you are beautiful you will be sold as a commodity.  But if like this tree your are useless you can be what you are and look at all those who are enjoying sitting under its shade.”

It is better to be as good as you can be rather than have to be continually telling yourself how useless you are.

This blog is linked to my other where I discuss the artwork used here. A Scottish Landscape

A Year Apart.

I was wondering when it was that I became aware of my love of empty places. I suppose there never really was a moment or time or place when I became aware. The truth was I had always been a bit like that from the beginning of my memories. I always liked, and needed, to be alone. I was thinking the other day there that if I had been born now and been as I was then somebody would have labelled me as having aspergers.

As my life moved on I more and more realised that if life was to have any meaning I had to play my part within it. So I compensated, I became the one with the self confident air. The centre of every conversation, the instigator and mover. The more I acted this out the more it became reality. I found myself surrounded with people instead of alone as I would rather have been.

I spent almost a complete year living on the small Island of Iona. This island lies off the coast of Mull and from it can be seen the Dutchmans Cap Island and the famous Staffa with its Fingals Cave. During the winter months the population of the island was in total about 80. In the summer its youth camp and abbey would increase this into the hundreds.

As I look back I am aware that this year was an important turning point. From this point on I was to be in both of my future careers, a leader and motivator. The shy person became the preacher, the loner became the teacher and friend of students.

As I grow older I again find myself withdrawing to the places of still and emptiness. The need to be at one with myself becomes more and more important. My walks and runs have become my solitudes. But I will never forget that day on the beach on Iona when I became aware that each of us in our own way is a part of this wonderful universe. That we each have a part to play, a contribution yet to make.

We who are in the business of creating art are very fortunate people. We can be alone and yet we can convey to others the beauty that is around them.

The poem about that moment on Iona is on my other blog. Before you go there I apologise for the clumsy words I just hope they express the inner feelings and the need to paint that Island as often as I have.   Iona

A Walk in the Park

Nothing ever is as straightforward as you hoped it would be and so it was in the progress of Nettie. A week or so after the purchase of the coat I was down for our early morning cup of coffee outdoors. We had been taking a flask and a couple of mugs and having our coffee as we walked round the square. The house was never far from sight but we were now venturing slightly further. I was therefore surprised one day when Nettie told me she could not go over the door that day. I am not sure she knew why and, if she did, I never ever found out. What Nettie said was that when this had all started she had been ok because the outside air was cold and it kept the sweats at bay. Now the weather was turning to spring and yesterday she had felt bad. I said I understood, even though I was finding it very difficult. Lost for words I said it would be alright because I would go home and do a version of the rain dance only instead I would dance for snow. I was really trying not to show my disappointment and near despair. I was staying positive, but I knew we had reached a difficult stage. I went out to do some other visits and work with a heavy heart.


The next day I arose at the same time ready to go down and see if we were walking or not. I went downstairs and looked out the kitchen window. I could not believe what I was seeing, there was a beautiful covering of snow everything was white. I was now for real dancing round the kitchen floor.

Determined to make the most of this event I headed down the road to see Nettie. “Right,” I said “Coat lets go and make the most of this marvellous day.” We got in the car and drove back to the manse. I nipped into the house and got my daughter and my dog. We drove the very short distance to the nearby estate with its large grounds and big house. Here we could walk, all four of us, and we would be lucky if we saw anything other than wildlife at this early time of the day. It was marvellous. I took some great pictures. My daughter took Nettie’s hand something she had never done with her daughter. I could see a tear running down her cheek and knew we were back on track. We were now in fact more than back on track because not only had we walked but on the way back Nettie came into the Manse for coffee with my daughter, she helped by showing Nettie where everything was kept, the two of them were getting on like a house on fire.



I never told her I was hopeless at dancing, after all the snow had come. For long after this day we joked that I did a great turn at snow dancing. Tomorrow I will bring this story to its end and answer the question of Netties daughter.





This blog is linked to my other blog where the artwork is discussed:-Linlithgow Palace