Friday, 24 August 2012

Why Do I Care?


I seem to be the kind of person whom life likes to kick. Let me explain. I care very deeply for the friends I make and would do whatever I can to help them, or even just make a the moment of life better for them.

The danger of being a person like this is that others sadly abuse what you are. I gave a friend a bag of my new harvested potatoes, thinking I was giving fresh new produce. I think there were enough to do for a few weeks at least.

Yesterday, the person I had given them to pointed out that I had given her one that was bruised and damaged.

The story of my life really. I try and try to make people happy but continually fail.

So I was giving some very serious thought to what a real friend was. What is it we mean when we say I am your friend, or even more when you say I love you.

It is day by day an important question when we live in a world of fast moments and transitory relationships. Life moves faster and faster and relationships are reduced to a few texts, not even spelled with any care or thought.

So here are my thoughts.

A real friend :

(A)ccepts you as you are

(B)elieves in "you"

(C)alls you just to say "HI"

(D)oesn't give up on you

(E)nvisions the whole of you (even the unfinished parts)

(F)orgives your mistakes

(G)ives unconditionally

(H)elps you

(I)nvites you over

(J)ust  want to "be" with you

(K)eeps you close at heart

(L)oves you just as you are

(M)akes a difference in your life

(N)ever Judges
(O)ffers support
without a thought of why.
(P)icks you up
 when you do not deserve to be picked up.
(Q)uiets your fears
and understands why you have those fears.
(R)aises your spirits
and encourages you do do even more.
(S)ays nice things about you even when you do not deserve nice things to be said about you.

(T)ells you the truth when you need to hear it
even though it might hurt
(U)nderstands you
when nobody else seems to.
(V)alues you
just because you are whom you are.
(W)alks beside you when everybody else has left.

(X)-plains thing you don't understand in words you do.

(Y)ells when you won't listen and tells you to shut up.
(Z)aps you back to reality.

But above all never blocks you out of their life.

Even when they deserve to be just that. 

This blog is linked to my other.Millport


  1. wow, Ralph...I can so relate to your "potato" experience. I had a "friend" who expected my generosity and then demanded more. When I refused as nicely as possible..she came to my house while I was gone and let our dogs out of the kennels!!!
    Obviously this is an extreme (and far more to the story) example. But I learned a lot. The hardest was not to trust so easily. I always felt that it was the best thing to expect goodness and trust in people. I learned the hard way that I needed to be more selective. I also learned that I needed to be careful and less open. It was not a lesson I wanted to learn. I was wary of people for a long time. Now I am over most of it. I keep good friends close, I am generous when I want to be. I choose who I associate with. I have learned the value of the word"no". But when I choose "yes" I no longer expect reciprocation. Life is an interesting journey and I do choose who I make it with.

  2. A real friend is one who knows all your faults and loves you anyway.
    I am lucky to have one friend like that.

  3. Some people are very negative and find fault with everything - even a lovely gift of fresh from the garden potatoes. I wouldn't take it as a reflection on your friendship so much as a characteristic of that person's personality. Please don't let anyone make you feel bad, Ralph.

  4. Potato experience keep happening to me all the time.. but I have learned to observe and let go, for, I for one reason feel good inside that I was unconditional to show my love.It is very difficult to make people happy because they dont know what it means to be happy :-)

  5. If you're alone, I'll be your shadow. If you want to cry, I'll be your shoulder. If you want a hug, I'll be your pillow. If you need to be happy, I'll be your smile. But anytime you need a friend, I'll just be me. ~Author Unknown